It’s a Sunday morning & just whipped up a large batch of full fat pancakes cooked with butter, drizzled with nutella, and topped with cinnamon sugar & I’m having a little trouble understanding why I feel so guilty about not giving a shit about treating myself. I mean, this is totally a treat and my usual go-to brekkie consists of gluten free bread, topped with smashed avo, and a piece of fruit (not to mention the extra strong coffee.
But aren’t I supposed to feel guilty about having a high calorie “cheat meal”? Shouldn’t I be concerned about my physique? How am I going to pull off this carb bloat in fashion shots? Shouldn’t hitting that size 8 be my ultimate body goals? Shouldn’t I be creating my 2018 “summer body” now?
Lucia Berutto Polka Waves Kimono*
Truth is, I’ve started to feel guilty for having a healthy lifestyle but not watching my weight. I’m a big believer in home cooked meals, nutritious varied ingredients, and eating plates full of colour and taste. However, compared to my teenage days, I’m beginning to care less and less about cutting calories. I do count calories to ensure I don’t overeat, I get the right amount for a grown woman everyday, and I’m hitting all the right macros. So why do I feel so guilty about not giving a fuck about cutting down and losing the pounds?
We live in an instagrammers world where those who are “cutting”, leaning out their physique, or making sure they hit macros for those #gains are praised. Not to mention if you have thin pins, a flat stomach, and fit a size 8 or below – ummm goals much? Weirdly enough, I feel really guilty for not wanting any of those things: I feel guilty for being happy in my own skin.
Am I allowed for feel comfortable in my own skin if I’m not skinny, toned, #goals physique? I honestly feel guilty for not having those body goals, because that’s what I’m supposed to look like. That’s what the industry is telling us style bloggers tbh, if you have a certain *look* (which may or may not include being the goal body type: skinny) you won’t be able to work with certain brands, or have certain opportunities. So why couldn’t I give less of a shit that I’m carrying an extra 20lbs?
There’s a lot of pressure for influencers be that slimline, model-esque figure, but there’s also this pressure on women in general to want to lose weight. I mean if you’re a size 10/12 why wouldn’t you want to lose weight, right? Obviously, striving to be thin is a big thing, and there is some form of stigma attached to being comfortable as you are and not watching your weight. It’s not that I’m lazy, or can’t be bothered to spend an hour on the treadmill every other day, or have the self control to cut out sugar etc, I just have no real reason to.
My boyfriend tells me how beautiful and sexy he thinks I am all the time (cringe, soz) and I completely believe him. I don’t rely on his or anyone else’s reassurance when it comes to my body confidence, as my hotness is determined by myself alone. At the moment, I feel no real need to aspire to be this slimline model and I’m totally embracing my curves. Maybe I’ll feel differently in a month’s time and embark on my own weight loss journey, but for now, pass the cookies plz.
How do you feel about the pressure of wanting to lose weight?
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*I was gifted some of products in this post, however the opinions and views are my own*