Hey there – if you’re reading this, you probably have some body hang ups, right? That’s because everyone has body insecurities, and it affects everyone to different magnitudes. Put simply, I cannot believe that I’m wearing a PROPER bikini in this post. What the hell happened to that insecure hol who cried over all of her wobbly bits during summer holidays & liked way too many “#fitnessgoals” posts whilst sobbing into a tub of Ben & Jerry’s?
Fuck it. I’m so over hating my own body. Honestly, I’m over the whole “body insecurity” being the norm thing – I know it’s really cliche to say that “everyone’s beautiful in their own way” thing but it’s fucking true.
If you want a little insider info, the behind the scenes goss about a blogger bikini photoshoot so to speak… it’s not all golden sunsets & effortless candids. The first few days of my last trip with Clickstay were so difficult, in terms of getting the shots. If you didn’t know already, I definitely fit into the perfectionist category of human being and I always strive to out-do myself. So I thought I’d push myself outside of my comfort zone and actually get round to shooting some swimwear – something I’ve always wanted to feel confident enough doing but just didn’t think my body was “good enough” to be snapped in a ‘kini. With a size 10/12, curvy, 5ft 1 frame? I’m no where near “instagram goals” material in terms of bikini bods.
The first few swimwear shoots were awkward and weird & I totally felt like a fish out of water (I’m punny, promise). I kept asking my boyf how I was looking, if I could check the photos, and obsessing over how to stand to make myself look thinner. Yup, I totally did the “bambi” pose. Once I got home that night and had a scroll through my camera roll, I realised something very important. I looked fucking awesome. Curves n’ all, I was totally rocking my Wolf & Whistle ‘kini like crazy & my gingham ASOS one piece was doing all sorts of things for my E-cup cleavage.
I couldn’t help but think, what the actual fuck? Why was I so worried about looking “too big” for a swimwear shoot? I realised that prior to my holiday, I was scrolling through IG and putting myself (and my body) down for not looking like the thin, toned, six-pack abs, bikini-clad, model-esque women with effortless, infinite candid feeds that a short, curvy girl could only dream of. Right? WRONG.
Turns out, it’s not about wanting to be confident – it’s about just… being confident. I looked back at the photos, some of them with rolls, some of them my butt is totally eating the back of my briefs (it happens, #thicc) – and I still fucking loved the way I looked. Know why? I looked genuinely happy. If I wasn’t worried about the way everyone else perceived my body, I would naturally love it. It’s only the thought of someone else judging my thick thighs and bingo wings that makes me conscious of the way I look.
ASOS Leopard Bikini TopSimilar / Similar / SimilarSouth Beach Mix & Match Lattice High Waist Bikini Bottom
It got to the point that I was even comfortable enough to wear a proper two-piece bikini (sans the high waist to hide my tum tum) because I couldn’t have given less of a fuck. I learnt a seriously harsh lesson on my holiday to Cyprus: if you want to be body confident, love yourself & be body confident. I was the only person stopping myself from embracing & loving my body, and you know what – I can’t wait to get out there and take some more bikini snaps on my next break. No backsies, I’m fucking embracing my body & no one’s going to stop me.
How do you embrace your body & feel body confident?