Saturday, 16 September 2017

Check Mate



I'd say that one of the worst things about starting a blog is the bare, exposed truth that comes with it. The truth about how attractive you are, how likeable you are, how (un)talented you are, and how you're not particularly that special in the world of blogging all come to mind. The truth that emerged about the people that I really did think were my friends was the worst of them all.

Friendships were stripped bare when I realised that only a handful of people that I called my friends actually gave a shit about my new life venture. Surprisingly, more people that I didn't know that well were more interested in asking me about my new daring journey into the world of blogging than people I once saw everyday.


Now I'm not saying that I demand everyone gives two fucks about what I'm doing 24/7, but showing a little interest in your "bestie's" new business/life plan would be quite nice. You know, instead of unfollowing them on all social media to reinforce the fact that you really couldn't give less of a shit. Yep, honestly - Lots of my "besties" literally unfollowed me when I started a blog. I did bring it up with a few of them and they made hella excuses, but in reality it just showed a pure lack of interest in anything I was actively doing to change my life through blogging. In essence, blogging was my dream.




I had a thought to cover this in a post after seeing a few bloggers tweeting about how shit it is when your friends don't support your endeavours. Whether that might be a blog, an investment, a business plan... simply anything you want to do with your life. I know first hand what it's like to have people you think are your bestest buds giving absolutely ZERO support when you're trying to make something of yourself, and it's fucking shit.

But of course, these gals support Kylie's new lip kits and religiously buy the new Victoria Secret fragrances - Spending their hard earned bucks on a brand who probably couldn't give two shits about who the end consumer. But supporting my blog (hi, I'm your friend) with kind words, wasn't even thought about twice.



When I first started my blog a whole two years ago, a handful of people I thought were my closest friends acted it was something to laugh at - like the thought of me having a beauty/fashion blog was comedic. They used to make really snide comments that were obviously two faced like "well at least you get free shit, right?" and "I might just start a blog to get freebies like you do, it looks easy" and I'd be like.... you what, bitch? 

The blogging name that I've built up for myself wasn't easy, it was far from easy. Now that I'm a currently a full time blogger I'm working all day, everyday, on my fucking blog. On my passion, my future, heck I'd even call it my business. I'm lucky enough to be half decent at this blogging thing, and before you ask, yes I do make a tidy income from it. But I worked my absolute bum off, whilst getting a first class masters degree in engineering, to get to where I am currently. There's still a long way for TKL to go - but I'm so proud of myself.






Two years ago, I was a brand new, baby faced blogger with a lot of learning to do, but I still could have done with a little support from my "besties". I found out that although many of my friends were hardcore fashion enthusiasts and makeup-lovers, none of them read my blog. Put simply, they didn't take it seriously and didn't really care.

Weirdly enough, I've had girls who didn't really know or like me in secondary school @ me on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram etc. letting me know that I'm currently kicking ass. Some message me for help or advice, others just let me know when they enjoy my posts. It's such a strange feeling when people that really don't know you at all reach out to let you know that they support you and your blog, but your so-called "besties" wont even follow you on social media.



Not to fret as I do have some friends that have either read my blog, congratulated me on it, or ask how it's going, and that means the world to me. It didn't take anything crazy for them to just mention it in conversation or just simply let me know that they "really liked that one" or something of the sort. I hope they know how much it means when they give a gal a complement like that. My blog is both my personal creation, and my career choice. To have even one friend that supports TKL, is worth more than fifty fake "besties".

What were your experiences with friends when you first started blogging?
Would you ever think differently of a friend for being a blogger/vlogger?

Want to support my blog? 

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15 comments

  1. I had the worst experienxe when I started blogging with my friends. They mocked me so much for it that it made me feel sick and I had to block them all on instagram and twitter in the end because it was too much. It's hard to put yourself out there and start a blog and disheartening when people think it's a joke. I'm terrified because I've been asked to write an article for my uni magazine about how I've risen to success in the blogging industry (lol, i don't really think that but that's what the editors email said) and I am scared it might open me up to more ridicule. But I'm gonna do it, because who cares? I'm following my dreams and will hopefully graduate with a full time job in 2 years time. 💪🏼 You do you, Holly, and don't let haters stop you from doing your thaaang.

    Chloe || www.chloealicelily.co.uk

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  2. YES YES AND YES HOL! Omg I can totally relate to this post! And I'm also sorry you've had such a bad experience with your 'friends' just know that there's SO many people who love your blog and aspire to be like you! It's one reason why I started my YouTube so late on because of other people but now I'm like so freaking what. If people don't support you get rid. You don't need that negativity in yo' life babes xoxox Imogen

    www.imogenrose.co.uk

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  3. I can relate. I don't really mention my blog to friends. But if they mention it to me I'm surprised when someone I know tells me they read it or they like a post that I did. I used to ask my friends to check out my blog in the beginning when I first blogged but now I don't lol because I would be disappointed if they didn't.

    Kayla
    Sheer Beauty Blog

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  4. Those photographs are beautiful! I completely relate to your blogpost. I don't think my closest friends read my blog. I've been blogging for a few years now and have realized I don't actually care. I blog for myself. I take it seriously. It takes a lot of time. x

    www.serenbird.com

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  5. Kudos to you for continuing on with your passion despite the negative backlash you received from it, and kicking ass at it too! I'm certain that a majority of my closest friends don't read my blog, and whilst at times that hurts a little, I try my best not to think about it - I'd like to turn my passions into a career, but it can be daunting when your nearest and dearest aren't there for you xxx

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  6. This is so accurate! I feel everyone has people in their life who when they start blogging it's as if people couldn't care less/ the first thing they ask is if you are making money from it which obviously you aren't if you're just starting out! I'm not always the most consistent with my blog but I am proud of it so when I have people friends especially look down on it, it's a real knee in the groin. But I try to remind myself that if I have the passion for something there's no way someone else can make me feel bad about that.

    renbreaux.blogspot.com

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  7. I hear you on this completely, but this happened to me when I was much younger and first started blogging (when I was 15 or so). It's unfathomable that friends your age would turn their backs and fail to support you. Whilst it doesn't feel like it now, this is a blessing in disguise because you don't want people around you like that anyway. You're so right in saying that it only takes one friend to say 'hey I liked that post' to make the world of difference. Focus on those friends.

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  8. Wow, I'm so sorry you had a rubbish experience with your so-called friends, that's horrible. I haven't told many of my friends about my little blog because I'm nervous of their reactions. They might laugh, or they might just not say anything, and either of these responses would really upset me. I've found the most encouragement comes from fellow bloggers, which means so much because it's peer support. But kudos on making your blog work for you (major congrats on your degree too!) Keep doing what you're doing because your blog is fantastic! x

    Lisa | www.lisasnotebook.com

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  9. Well done, you've come so far and yet got so much further to go - and I'm sure you'll boss it!

    Mel ★ http://www.meleaglestone.co.uk

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  10. I'm sorry to hear this. Some people are better not to have around. TBH, all my friends are supportive of me being a blogger and try to help me as much as possible and I always try to help those who are starting a blog since I know the struggle. It's a good thing bloggers have one another to support each other.
    Love
    Pili
    To Read with Tea

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  11. Ahhh YES YESSS to this post! Loved reading this! Friends who don't think anything of your hobby is not a friend at all. And GO you for pushing on with your blog - it's fab! x

    TOUCHOFGS

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  12. Go you lovely!! You've achieved so much already and it just goes to show who your true friends are (which is a shame really) but better to find out now rather than invest more time in them! Keep doing you 💗
    Chantelle x
    The Girl In The Tartan Scarf

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  13. You hit the nail on the head with this post (and this outfit), as it really touches on the true colours of your peers. Love the jacket and the edgy skirt-suit look :)
    Feel free to check out my latest post x
    LOOK LOVE WEAR

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  14. I've been lucky in the sense of I only had 1 true best friend that stuck with me since leaving school and starting my blog. He was supportive, he doesn't read my blog and I don't care cause he's a guy and he likes my insta pics when sees them. My new friends made via my boyfriend are supportive but I think they don't "get it" like they say "ooo Charlee message them, and we can go there for free and you do a review"... I took them all once as my guests to a review experience now this plagues me 😂. I think it cuts the b.s in a good way though, you know who you can trust and who is worth spending time with if they can't be assed. You own it girl, congrats! x

    Charlee || Rose above the Thorns

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  15. Wow, your friends suck! Sorry. But I can't believe your friends could act like that. It's so harsh, cruel, and not at all how friends should behave. Disgusting. I consider myself fairly lucky for having a pretty good experience of sharing my blog with friends and family. I've had most of my good friends tell me they loved X post, or ask me about my latest collab. It's a shame that can't be the same experience for everyone. x www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x

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